The Plan
Marcus has been my right-hand man in the kitchen for 15 years. When his 50th birthday was coming up, I wanted to do something special. Something memorable.
“Let’s make 50 mini pies,” I announced. “One for each year. Each one different!”
Marcus laughed. “Andy, mate, that’s insane.”
“Exactly! It’ll be legendary!”
The Reality Check (Too Late)
We started at 6 AM. The plan was simple:
- 10 chicken & mushroom
- 10 beef & ale
- 10 curry chicken
- 10 vegetarian
- 10 sweet (apple, mixed berry, chocolate)
By 8 AM, we realized we’d drastically underestimated the complexity of making 50 individual pies with 5 different fillings and 3 different pastry types.
“Andy,” Marcus said, flour in his hair, “this might be the dumbest idea you’ve ever had.”
“It’s character building!” I replied, frantically rolling out pastry number 23.
Enter the Kitchen Crew
Word got out about our ridiculous challenge. By 9 AM, our tiny kitchen was invaded:
- Sarah (who usually handles deliveries) showed up with her grandmother’s crimping technique
- Raj (our part-time weekend help) canceled his plans to help with filling prep
- Priya (Marcus’s wife, bless her) arrived with three thermoses of coffee and an expression that said “you’re both idiots, but I love you”
The Chaos Peaks
Crisis #1: The Great Pastry Shortage
At 11 AM, we ran out of pastry dough. Not “oh we need to make more” ran out. We ran out of flour.
Sarah sprinted to the FairPrice at Clementi. Raj called his mum who lives in Ang Mo Kio and she showed up 20 minutes later with a 5kg bag from her pantry.
Crisis #2: The Filling Fiasco
The curry chicken filling looked identical to the beef & ale filling once cooked. We’d lost track of which was which.
Marcus’s solution? “Taste test everything.”
We spent 15 minutes tasting spoonfuls of filling like we were sommeliers at a pie wine tasting.
Crisis #3: The Oven Tetris
Our commercial oven can fit 12 mini pies. We had 50 to bake.
The math was not mathing.
We ended up
